The top right-hand corner of my computer screen has turned dark. It covers about one eighth of the screen, and is creeping across it like a shadow on the lawn as the sun goes down. It looks as if power isn’t getting to the pixels in that area, so the screen has lost its brightness. I wonder how large it will grow, how much light will it consume before my screen is overrun with darkness.
The shadow makes me uneasy. I can’t read that area of the screen very easily and I wonder what lurks there hidden from sight. Coming from the top, it presses down on my work, squeezing some of the light out of it. I can’t let that happen, especially when I’m trying to reinvent my first book, to imbue it with the passion I had when I first wrote it. I need all the illumination I can get.
Perhaps music, or a walk in the sunshine, will send the shadow fleeing, but when I come back to the screen, the shadow is still there. I need my screen clear, unmuddied, pure, to allow inspiration to arise. But as it is, I’m dodging around the dark bits, trying to fit the words into a smaller space. The shadow is squeezing the words, rooting them to the ground when they need to be able to fly.
No this isn’t writer’s block. It’s writer’s frustration, maybe even depression. I have to get my computer screen fixed and that’s a hassle. I want to write, to make Lethal Inheritance glow with all the inspiration that first brought it into being, but there’s a dark shadow across my screen. The dark shadow is that ‘You Can’t Shatter Me’ isn’t selling as well as I’d hoped—a good reminder that for one’s sanity, one should not expect to sell any.
I have a blog tour coming up on September first—pray that the paperback is actually available in the online bookstores by then—and I sure hope that will help, but I did have this crazy idea that my fairly extensive online platform would be enough to sell a few books in the meantime, not to mention all the guest posts on other sites I did at the beginning of the month.
I can console myself with the thought that at least I have a novella out and I’m selling more books than I did before, but my first love, my epic series set on Diamond Peak still hasn’t seen the light of day 2 ½ years after getting an agent for it. I said that if ‘You Can’t Shatter Me’ sells well then I’ll happily go the Indie route with ‘Lethal Inheritance’ but unless sales pick up with the paperback, or my agent finally scores a big publisher for ‘Lethal Inheritance’ (I’ve pretty much given up on that possibility) I’m facing more querying and the painful time lag that entails. I also need to know that any small press I query is one that will actually get a good print distribution & give my book decent marketing, otherwise I might as well do it all myself.
Yes, there’s a dark shadow creeping across my screen. I’d better get it fixed before it obscures the light entirely.
PS There really is a shadow on my screen & ‘You Can’t Shatter Me’ isn’t a terrible book, check out the reviews here.
PPS If any of you can suggest small presses that have a good print distribution and actually do market their authors, please let me know.